I'd Rather Be Here

Happy Monday night to you! It's well past midnight, so technically it's Tuesday, and for some reason I found it fitting to write now despite the fact I'm waking up in five hours. As I always say, my creative/artistic side finds me best in the night hours. Why I even remembered I have a blog I am unsure as it's been over a year since I last wrote. I kind of love the fact that I have it, use it every other year, and don't even care if anyone reads it. I truly write for myself.

Hard to believe, but it was 3 years ago today that I arrived back in the states after attending a discipleship school overseas. I lived in Germany for 2 1/2 months and Israel 2 months and had one wild adventure with God. On my journey home I remember feeling so many mixed emotions. I was obviously excited to be back with friends and family and to be around my community again and was expectant for life in many ways. At the same time I felt this pit in my stomach wondering if I'd still have the same friendships I had when I left, and was anxious thinking about what the next years would look like for me. I hoped that I would make this transition gracefully and had a pep in my step all while being a bit fearful about a lot of little things. It's a pattern humans have - we experience God, hear Him speak, move forward and in the midst of the journey forget what He's spoken and question whether or not He actually spoke. Somehow He always lovingly and graciously grabs ahold of us and leads us back on track.

Life the past three years has been the furthest thing from what I had imagined that God had for me and maybe even hoped that He had for me. I honestly thought that God had something "big" for me next and I guess I imagined that being different then what it has panned out to be. The initial transitional period was nothing short of hard. It was hard fitting back in, hard figuring out what I was supposed to do, hard walking out all God spoke to me as I was coming home, hard trusting God. Today, three years later, I think I find myself in a similar place. Being a young adult is hard. It's hard finding where you fit in, hard figuring out what you're supposed to be doing, hard figuring out what you're called to, hard being challenged by God, hard maturing and growing up, hard trusting God for the future. Doing the hard work of growing up is hard.

From a man's standpoint it doesn't look like I've gone far in life these last few years. I still live in Spokane, still live at home and am still involved in the same things. Occasionally I'll examine my life and think, "Man, I'm still here?" until I take a step back from the writing of my life and see the chapters, the most incredible chapters, that have been written. The last 1,095 days have been more fulfilling, life changing, adventurous, purpose-filled, challenging and stretching then I could have ever made them out to be with my "big" plans. I'm thankful that God is writing my story. He's far more exciting and creative. He keeps me on my toes and He keeps reminding me to dream in the midst of being where He has me here. He's always moving, always speaking, always working and always writing. You never know what He's going to do next in life. Let us continually tune our ear to hear His voice, have our "yes" ready, fully embrace the now, grow in love daily, and never forget that He will continue to lead us on.

Tonight I give credit where credit is due; this life is not my own. I acknowledge the working of God in my life and hold fast to His words. He is leading me on.

Let's continue to live this good life set before us.

my happiest place